Too often, more than not, when we think about life with chronic illness/es when concentrate on the negatives as they are what automatically spring to mind. We don't allow the prospect of there being any sort of positives where chronic illness/es are concerned as we are too focused on the negative aspects of how it/them have affected our lives. We think about things, such as: what we've missed out on, how different our life is to those surrounding us who's lives have not been touched by illness, the things we can't/struggle to do, what we've lost to our illness/es, the horrible physical symptoms we feel, the isolation we feel, the mental health problems we may have to deal with as a consequence of our illness/es. For too long I lived life believing that chronic illness was something which only presented itself with adversity, I never allowed myself to entertain the possibility that any positive may exist in relation to such a seemingly negative thing.
One day whilst sitting in hospital, feeling sorry for myself, I decided to make an attempt to put together a list of positives which may come alongside chronic illness/es. It felt strange at first attempting to put together such a list because I'd conditioned myself, for so long, to be of the belief that only negative aspects of illness existed.
Since making this list I have found that my outlook on my chronic illnesses as well as my outlook on my life in general has changed. It didn't happen quickly, it took a bit of time but I kept re-looking at the list and reminding myself that it's not all negative.
- You learn to quickly cherish the small things in life: with chronic illness you find the smallest things in life bring you joy. Focusing on what you can do instead of what you can't do can really help you achieve this. For example saying "I can't run but I can walk" or "I can't eat peanuts but can still make some tasty allergy-friendly treats" can really give you a positive outlook on dealing with chronic illnesses. You start to find that you enjoy the smaller things in life such as going out when you can, doing things for yourself when you can.
- You quickly come to conclusions about who should be in your life and who you need to rethink about: living with chronic health problems can be really isolating. With some people I've found that the first few times they learn that you're unwell or, for example, in hospital, their general reaction tends to be along the lines of "Are you okay? Is there anything I can do?" etc. As time progresses and you end up unwell a multitude of different times many people stop asking. Many people will stop making attempts to make plans with you if you've had to cancel multiple times as a result of your health problems, in spite it not being your fault they seem to tire, relatively quickly, of asking for there to be any sort of potential of you cancelling. Although this is a horrible thing to endure and makes you feel even more isolated it does have it positives that you find out who the people that will be there for you even when things are going tough and aren't just there in your glory times.
- You find yourself becoming more motivated and determined in life: when living with chronic illnesses often all you want is a sense of normality in life, to do things that other people without chronic health problems take for granted. I have found that having chronic health problems has really helped me to be a great deal more motivated and determined to achieve the things I want to in life. I find that I also am motivated and determined to prove people wrong, what I mean by this is to show those that say "you can't do that" that I can and I will do it.
- Your achievements seem bigger, no matter how small they may be: most people spend their time celebrating the big things in life: graduation, getting a job, getting married, starting a family etc. however, when living with chronic illnesses you find yourself celebrating the smaller things in life. Things such as: going for a shower, cleaning the house, doing self-care, getting out and about can be a massive fete and you should celebrate as should. Instead of focusing on what big celebrations you're missing out on try to celebrate your smaller achievements. I find making myself a list of goals with small manageable steps can be of great help, writing them down and ticking them off as you achieve them can give you a real sense of achievement that you may not otherwise feel.
- You make an attempt to live each day to the fullest: you begin to value the things you can do in life when you face periods of time where you can't do those things. You find yourself making attempts to live your life to the fullest potential that you can and trying to make the most of the good days you may have or the days where even if you have symptoms those symptoms are heightened. You learn coping strategies to manage day to day in spite of having symptoms and in turn use this to make an effort to live your life as best as you can.
- You come across some amazing people: in the chronic illness community there is such a vast range of people you come across. The good thing is you come across very likeminded individuals who have the same sort of outlook on life as you and understand the struggles you face because they themselves face their own battles. Sometimes the best people in your life can be the ones that you've come across as a result of fighting health battles.
- You find yourself taking each day as it comes: you try to have the outlook on life that "today may be bad, maybe even the worst day you've ever experienced, but that doesn't mean that tomorrow is going to be bad too". You start to learn to take things minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day and not be begrudged to the fact that you may be struggling as you try to remember that whilst things are difficult just now they won't be this way forever.
- You tend to be a more understanding person: living with chronic illness gives you a better sense of empathy to other people's problems. You also tend to be more understanding towards people's actions and behaviours. For example if someone doesn't message you back you may be more inclined to believe that that person may have personal things going on and in turn empathise with them instead of automatically assuming "they are ignoring me". This in turn can really benefit your relationships.
- You are a true warrior: you really are a warrior, however not just because of the battles you face but by the amazing person you are. Chronic illness is NOT who you are, it is part of what has shaped you/continues to shape you as a person however it is not the person you are. You have so many more qualities and are an amazing person in spite of your chronic illness/es.
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